


I'm highkey gay; Y'all are just STUPID

by mackboeser



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Brendan Gallagher is mentioned, Coming Out, M/M, Management reactions, Patrice and Brad are in LOVE, Team as Family, You Can Play, cursing, supportive team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 22:52:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19799401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mackboeser/pseuds/mackboeser
Summary: Another one I deleted, but decided to bring back.





	I'm highkey gay; Y'all are just STUPID

**Author's Note:**

> If you found this by googling yourself or someone you know, please click away.  
> This is a work of FICTION.

Bradley Marchand was terrified, to say the least. He knew he was gay. He’d known since he was a teenager. He came out to his family, which went better than he had expected. He came out to his closest friends. However, he never came out to his teams. He never came out to his coaches or to his trainers or to managements of his teams. He closed that part of himself off when he was anywhere near any of those people. But over the years, Brad found himself letting that part of himself out in small bouts throughout seasons. At 30 years old, Brad doesn’t give a single fuck anymore. He broke his own god damned rules the moment he fell in love with Patrice Bergeron and now? Well, fuck it. He might as well be true to himself at this point. People already loved to hate him and with this, they’d at least have a better excuse for their hatred. Because hey, if they want to be homophobic assholes, that shows more about them than it does about him. 

So he basically had found himself standing in a very uncomfortable meeting room with Bruce Cassidy, Don Sweeney, the Bruins PR team, and whoever the fuck else they decided was necessary for this meeting. The fact that he wasn’t hyperventilating at this point was definitely more of a win for him since in reality, he’s clearly freaking out. This wasn’t the best time for anything. With preseason just around the corner and his whole “licking” incident still being talked about. He wouldn’t come out until later, but coming out to management seemed to be something he definitely needed to do now.

“Brad, I’m actually very concerned about you. You’ve never called a meeting like this for any reason before. Is something wrong?”

And Bruce, to Brad’s complete surprise and relief, sounded so sincere. Then again, the whole room seemed to be on edge as Brad was the only one who hadn’t sat down. He was too antsy to sit down. He couldn’t stop fidgeting with the hem of his shirt and he knew if anyone even looked at him the wrong way, he’d probably bolt. So standing up seemed to be his best option when he’s about to come out to these people. Brad let out a shaky breath. He glanced between everyone.

“I’m gay. And I’ve kept this part of me a secret for long enough that I don’t care anymore. I am, however, tired of hiding the fact that sometimes I hook up with men. I’d like to come out… publicly. Not, uh, not right away, but in the near future. And if you’re gonna be ignorant about it and get bent out of shape because of it, I’d at least like to know where you’re gonna trade me before it happens so I have time to get my shit together.” 

Brad was met with deafening silence. His hands shook harshly as he held tightly to his shirt. His eyes stayed glued to the floor and he took a step backwards. This was too much, too soon. He felt sick and too hot. His heart was beating too fast for his breathing and everything just felt so surreal.

“Brad, it’s okay.”

And everything suddenly stopped. He brought his gaze up to look at the group in front of him. They were all staring at him with soft, accepting expressions and Brad had never felt more relieved in his entire life.

“There’s no way we’d trade you, first of all. And second of all, I don’t know whether to be upset or offended that you were obviously terrified of telling us.”

Bless Bruce Cassidy and his good fucking heart. Bless this whole goddamn room full of people who actually seemed  _ proud  _ of him. 

“I think I speak for everyone in this room when I say that we support you. But you also must know that people across the league aren’t going to be as supportive, accepting, or understanding. Your teammates, however, I cannot speak for them. But you’re a grown man, Brad. It’s about time you stopped letting others dictate your sexuality and who you love, Marchy.”

The use of his nickname by his head coach was definitely a positive sign that this, was indeed, okay and he genuinely had nothing to worry about. That was the greatest feeling by far. Management was backing him up. Management was supporting him. Management was also encouraging him to be who Brad has always known he was. This was… a lot. It was overwhelming, really. Brad stared at the group before him, eyes glossing over. He hadn’t expected to be crying out of sheer joy today, but it was better than the alternative. 

“I think we should contact You Can Play. We’ve endorsed them before and something like this would definitely be good for them and us, as well. Maybe you can do a coming out video for them to air on our Pride Night, Brad.”

It was a genuinely good idea. Brad could easily do it and let it be his public stunt for his coming out. It was probably better than a press conference, though, and he definitely didn’t want to do one of those. He found himself nodding wordlessly, grinning in a way that he hasn’t since they’d won the cup. It felt  _ amazing.  _

Brad wasn’t exactly over the moon with coming out to his teammates. It’d been days since the whole meeting with PR and Management. They were adamant about him talking to the team and giving a form of a speech or whatever to them. He could do that. He knew changes needed to happen in every locker room throughout the league. The NHL wasn’t exactly the most welcoming place for LGBT+ athletes. Guys said homophobic and sexist and racist shit constantly. Being the change he wanted to see in the league wasn’t how he thought he’d see the changes start, but he supposed it was better than nothing. 

That’s how he found himself anxiously waiting for everyone to finish their shit and sit down in their stalls. After practice, most wanted to rush out of there and attend to their other commitments for the day. Today, though, this meeting afterwards was mandatory. The atmosphere within the locker room was peaceful, but definitely on edge. Brad knew that none of these guys were exactly sure why they were having a meeting in the first place. Bruce cleared his throat and the small chatter ceased immediately. 

“As head coach of this team, I want to remind you all that we are a team. We are a family. This family accepts everyone for who they are, no matter what. I hope you all remember that and know you can come to me or any of the other coaches if something is bothering you or if another player on this team is giving you a hard time.”

Confusion rose in the air rather quickly. Brad’s teammates were obviously caught off guard and weren’t expecting such a starting piece to be said by their coach.

“With that being said, I also have noticed a rise in a lot of hateful and possibly hurtful language going on in the locker room, as well as on the ice.”

Teammates were suddenly sitting up straight; some looking guilty, others looking ready to defend themselves. Bruce just smiled warmly at everyone.

“No one is in trouble or getting a talking to today, but if it has to happen, it will. Don’t think it’ll slide anymore, though. If we’re going to be a team, a family, we need to be better. However, this isn’t exactly my time. Marchy has some stuff he’d like to say to everyone.”

All eyes were on Brad in an instant. Brad flushed, but kept his composure. He looked around at everyone, seeing their anticipation and concern.

“Listen, okay? I’m gay. I’m gay and it’s never once created a problem for me on the ice, nor has it been a factor in my game play. I’m still the same Brad you guys know. I’m just tired of hiding the fact that I sometimes hook up with men or that sometimes I go on dates with men.”

He took a deep breath, glancing around the room before diverting his eyes back to the floor. 

“M’tired of trying to be someone I’ve known for years that I’m not. I understand that it might make some of you uncomfortable to know that you’re sharing a locker room with a gay man, but honestly? Plenty of you have been doing it for years at this point without knowing so I sure fucking hope I can count on this team to be supportive and understanding. Otherwise, this was bullshit.”

And yeah, Brad was getting slightly irritated, but he had every right to be. He was just glad it was him, though, and not one of the younger guys. He could handle himself and the rejection of a team. He kept his head down as he grabbed his phone from the bench. No one spoke, no one made a sound. Brad sighed to himself. He wasn’t expecting anything from his teammates, but at least it was out there now. He turned, grabbing for his phone, when arms wrapped around him. Several hands clutched at him, pulling him into the warm embrace of a group huge. It was in that moment, Brad knew things would be okay.

Things were definitely okay. They were winning and losing and winning again. Team dynamics didn’t change, but everyone seemed to be understanding and supportive of Brad since the talk. He found himself in the center of love and affection by several of his teammates. Even Patrice had seemed to grow closer to him, checking up on his every shift, making sure things were going okay. Bergy did that normally, but it seemed to be happening more often now. And Brad? He was so fucking happy about it. That’s the love of his life showing interest and caring for him; There’s no way he’d ever let himself shy away from that attention. 

Through all of the support and love from his teammates, Brad was very much aware of the shit he’d receive from plenty of players throughout the league. He’s heard plenty of disgusting homophobic slurs throughout almost every single game. It would not be easy, but when the time came, Brad had his little speech for his You Can Play video prepared and he was ready to make a stand.

When the time did come, Brad was seemingly frozen in front of the camera. His hands shook slightly at his sides, but Patrice and Pasta had offered to come with as moral support. He saw their smiles of encouragement and all of his fears seemed to melt away. If the big bad Boston Bruins would accept him for who he is, then so could the rest of the league. Brad turned back to the camera and let himself be as vulnerable and open as he had when he first came out to his family. Everything fell into place as he spoke. Everything came out so easily. He didn’t want to hide anymore. He didn’t want people to be afraid anymore. This wasn’t just for him. It was for every LGBT+ athlete out there. He would not let his community down. He didn’t want to let himself down, either. 

As Brad finished up, the tears finally spilled over. He was crying. That seemed to spur something within Patrice, who immediately ran to him and wrapped him in a hug. This was what he deserved. This was what he needed. This was what he wanted. It all just felt like too much, but not enough and it was incredibly opening for him. So Brad let himself cry into Patrice’s chest. He let himself release all of the pent of anxiety and fear and sadness. It was everything he didn’t know he needed or wanted, but he was so grateful to finally have it.

His You Can Play video wouldn’t be posted or aired anywhere until the Bruins’ held their annual Pride Night, as previously discussed. However, Bradley was very… antsy due to the waiting. He wasn’t exactly sure why the building anticipation was making him so fidgety and nervous, but he supposed it was understandable due to the circumstances. This whole thing was important to him and everyone seemed to be handling it all with special care for him. The team also seemed to be on edge with him. Brad knew they were also going to be affected by this whole situation and he suddenly wished he wasn’t doing this. He didn’t want any of the others to be hurt or anything because Brad decided to out himself. It made his stomach churn just thinking about it. But he knew these guys supported him. He knew they’d fight for him. That’s what family does. That’s what friends do. That’s what teams did for each other, or at least, it’s what the Boston Bruins do for each other. 

They waited and played and waited and played until the night finally came. Pride Night in Boston was packed, seemingly for the sheer support, but also due to the hints to a special announcement that Bruins PR had began posting days in advance. It was amazing for Brad to see, either way. The amount of rainbow flags and other scattered pride flags throughout the audience was something that warmed his heart completely. It wasn’t until after the anthems that the lights went down as the big screens began to play the video. Brad stood in his spot on the ice, shifting from one foot to the other. He stared down at the ice, unable to bring himself to look up when the audio finally began playing.

_ “Hey, I’m Brad Marchand. #63 of the Boston Bruins. I’m partnering with You Can Play to let you all know that I support each and every single one of you. Hockey has always been the constant in my life. It’s something I knew I wanted to continue to do. Making the NHL was the dream come true, but with that dream, came a lot of sacrifices and hiding things that I’m not proud of.” _

**_Brad ran a hand through his hair, face scrunched up slightly in what can be identified as nervousness. He struggled to keep his eyes focused on the camera._ **

_ “A lot of people influence your life and your actions and decisions. It’s hard to be yourself when you’re constantly pulled in different directions by those around you. There has always been something in me that knew I needed to just let myself be, but I couldn’t do it. So I hid myself. I locked part of me away where no one would be able to find out. I didn’t trust that the people around me were ready. I certainly wasn’t ready. But here we are.” _

Film of Brad playing, skating, scoring, began flashing on the big screen. Brad found himself shaking slightly, but still, he wouldn’t look up or move.

_ “I find myself at a loss to really say the things I want to for everyone. I wish it were easy. I was I could explain it all and make everything better for everyone, but I’m only one guy and I can’t change a league by myself. I can’t erase years of slurs and hateful remarks that were engraved into our brains growing up. I can’t undo that, but I can help educate. This league needs change and so change is coming. I suppose that starts with me. I’m gay. I’ve known this about myself since I was fresh in high school, worried and constantly getting into trouble. I’m gay and I’ve been afraid to come out publicly for years.” _

**_Brad gave the camera a broken smile, eyes slightly watery. His hands were gripping tightly to his shirt._ **

_ “But due to the changes around me and the amount of changes I want to see, I decided it was time to live as myself completely. So this is me, showing you myself completely and letting every single young hockey player out there know that if You Can Play, then you can play. My locker room is yours. My team is yours. We’re in this together. We’re in this for ourselves and for each other, no matter our sexual orientation or race or gender identity. This sport means so much to a lot of people around the world. This sport is for more than just us professionals. Anyone can play. Anyone should be allowed to play. It’s time for this league to change. It’s time for us to finally make the changes and be the change we want.” _

There was a lot of cheering, yelling, screaming, and Brad found himself numb to it. He wasn’t sure he could keep standing there, center ice and so completely open. His hands were gripping his stick so tightly in order to keep them from shaking. His heart felt like it was ready to burst. But Bradley stood there, head down and eyes closed. He could feel the wetness on his cheeks.

_ “This is me. This is who I am. This is who I’ve grown to be. This part of me doesn’t take anything away from who I was before anyone knew. I will always be Brad. I will always be me. It was just time to grow. It was time to let go of the fear and the internalized hatred I had towards myself. This part of me won’t stop me from doing what needs to be done on the ice. This part of me makes me want to do better than I’ve ever done on the ice and off it as well. That’s what we call character development, boys. I’ve been gay this whole time, but that didn’t affect the way I treated anyone nor did it affect team dynamics. If I’ve found anything out since coming out to my team, it’s that team is more of a family than I’d ever realized. We fight for each other. We love each other. We accept each other. My sexual orientation doesn’t affect me when I’m on the ice. Hockey is hockey and I’ll continue to play it the way I have been. My team is stronger than I think it’s ever been because of this.” _

**_There was a small pause as Brad fiddled with his shirt. Tears were welling up in his eyes, threatening to slide down his face at any given moment._ **

_ “From me to every single LGBT+ Athlete out there, I just want you to know that I support you. You’re the reasons I keep going. You’re the reasons I decided it was time to come out. We shouldn’t have to live in fear within our sports because if You Can Play, then You Can Play. And if I can play, then You Can Play, too.” _

The screen faded to black before it began showing the live footage of Brad standing center ice, head bowed. Loud cheers erupted throughout TD Garden. He felt several arms engulfing him, tugging him close in support. He let a laugh bubble out of his chest, eyes opening to look up at his teammates. They grinned at him, proud and happy. 

The game went better than Brad had expected it to. Their opponents of the night, the LA Kings, seemed to be a supportive bunch as well. Every player he had close in his vicinity voiced their support and encouragement. It was a pretty happy evening for everyone. The win they pulled out had definitely boosted their morale. The excitement followed them through their postgame rituals. The media scrum was extremely different. None of the reporters wanted to talk about their game. It had all been about Brad and his sexuality. Some of the team were definitely growing irritated with the constant questions about Brad.

Bradley, himself, was already at his limit with answering questions about his own sexuality and his growing up. 

“My sexuality has nothing to do with my ability to play. Actually, I take that back. My sexuality makes me want to work harder and do better than everyone else because I specifically know that people try to put limitations on everyone due to some aspect. My sexuality isn’t something that people can wave in my face and think it will effect me. My sexuality is part of me. I’ve owned it. I’ve come to terms with it. If other people, players, or organizations want to spew homophobia or another negativity, that says more about them than it ever will about me. I’m proud of who I am.”

And that was the end of it. It was enough for the reporters and enough for his teammates. The smiles grew throughout the room once again. If there was anything Brad was willing to do, it was take the heat from reporters and others in order to keep them from bad mouthing his teammates. 

That last thing on Brad’s mind should’ve been finding a relationship and getting himself into one that would last. Brad knew his heart would always belong to Patrice, but he wasn’t sure Patrice even knew that Brad liked him like that. And of course Brad wouldn’t openly admit that out loud. It was more of him dropping hints like he had been for years at this point. People already viewed them as together on many occasions. Rookies always thought they were like a married couple. It was something that neither really spoke about. With Brad being out, things were definitely different. Patrice was getting close to him, but also much more distant than Brad would like. It felt almost like a game of tug-a-war. It hurt him a lot, but he understood. He really, truly did. Brad wasn’t expecting anything much from anyone just because he had come out and was accepting himself. That wasn’t easy for a lot of people and those around them tend to make it harder.

What Brad wasn’t prepared for was getting shoved so harshly into the boards during a game. He should’ve seen it coming, if he was honest. Brendan Gallagher wasn’t exactly someone who was accepting and supportive, but this was a whole new level of douchebaggery. The fact was that Brendan, in all his ignorance, sneered at Brad and called him a “faggot” before quite literally trying to break him against the boards. Brad, however, would be the bigger man and ignore the other male. His team definitely had other ideas. Whoever heard the exchange had definitely passed the information around and boy howdy, it was not a good time. For Gallagher, at least. 

It was brutal to watch, if Brad was honest. He was in the medical room, getting checked for any sign of a concussion while his team continued to absolutely destroy the Habs. He wasn’t surprised at their anger or frustration. Tension always ran high when they played the Habs. It always has been that way. Tonight just seemed to worsen that tension. He found himself flinching at every hit between the teams. 

When he was cleared to continue play again, he was quick to get back to the bench. He wasn’t going to let Gallagher bring him down like that. They were already propelled in the third period, tied game. He wasn’t going to let his team down tonight. Stepping back out onto the ice for his shift had his adrenaline running high. Scoring the game winning goal, however, made him want to burst from excitement. Catching eyes with Brendan Gallagher, a smug smirk spread across his face. He said the only thing he could think of in that moment.

“Gay rights, you ignorant fuck!”

At the time, he wasn’t actually aware just how funny it’d be, but apparently, people were finding it hilarious. Sitting in his hotel room later that night, he’d discovered the gifs and even video of the moment.The amount of memes that were also showing up was incredibly great. He certainly found it hilarious, too. That moment would be one for the books, for sure, and Brad was happy to give the people the support they never really see within the hockey community.

A knock at his door broke him out of his scrolling daze, though. Pulling the door open, he found himself face to chest with Patrice. It wasn’t that unusual for Patrice to visit him, but this was definitely a surprise.

“Hey, Bergy! Come on in!”

He moved to the side, allowing Patrice space to enter. The door closed loudly behind them as they both walked into the room more. Patrice had yet to say anything, which was kind of scary, if Brad was honest. Deeming himself comfortable enough, he turned to face Patrice again. He was met with hands grasping his shoulders and lips against his own. A shiver coursed through his body as surprise took over him. 

He wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, but it felt… nice. Patrice’s lips were soft and warm against his own. He couldn’t help melting into the kiss with every second that passed until he found himself kissing back. His arms found their way around Patrice’s torso, but it was Patrice who was pulling him closer. After a few more moments, they separated to breathe. Brad stared up at his linemate in shock and confusion. The growing redness to Patrice’s cheeks gave him a bit of relief, but he was still so unsure of what was happening. Patrice seemed to find his expression funny enough to speak first.

“I love you, you fucking idiot.”

And Brad? Oh, he was fucking over the moon. Hearing those words come from the man he’s been in love with for the majority of his professional hockey career was like a dream come true. That feeling you get when something actually goes your way or you get a good grade on a test? It was so much more than that. The sheer amount of surprise and ecstasy led Brad to wrapping himself around Patrice like a koala bear. 

This was a position Brad had never thought he’d reach so soon, never thought he’d be given the luxury of having so soon. He came out in the hopes of inspiring younger players and letting people know that being themselves was 100% acceptable and okay. He wanted to be that role model for people because he definitely owed it to the team and the fans to be something more than just a pest on the ice. Having the ability to hold Patrice close and kiss him was never something he’d expected to become reality. He would deny himself that at any stop because he knew what it could do to the team and to himself. But in this moment, Patrice’s arms around his waist and his own face buried in Patrice’s chest, he’d let himself indulge in the softer things.

They’d have to speak. They’d have to discuss whatever the fuck this was because Bradley did not want to have his heart broken and ruin team dynamics. He sure as hell wasn’t going to be easy, if Patrice really wanted this. Patrice would have to wine him and dine him just like he’d have to for anyone else. Brad was in love with Patrice, sure, but he still wanted to experience it all with the man, too. For now, however, Brad would let Patrice hold him and place soft kisses against his skin. He’d let himself find comfort and warmth in Patrice’s arms. He’d let things be okay for this moment, but he knew that things were going to change and that this talk would need to happen, even if he was content with just never speaking of it.


End file.
